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Match makers in Vietnam

Generations ago, marriage was a family affair, as parents select their child’s spouse.

In the past, the marriage of  Kinh people - Vietnam's ethnic majority - were organized by matchmakers. Before wedding, the betrothed weren't allowed to touch each another. If the young woman wanted to supply her suitor a quid of betel, she placed the quid on a tray. Feudal ethics forbade any direct expression of affection.

If the newlyweds were happy, the matchmaker became their benefactor and was thanked with a bowl of steamed sticky rice, a boiled chicken, and a silk dress following the marriage. When the couple held the one-month anniversary of their primary kid, the party has the matchmaker to participate.

Following an introduction by the matchmaker, the grooms family would visit the bride's family to find out once their daughter's name and age. This ceremony was a vital tirst step, because the girl's age determined in her suitability as a bride. The groom's family would search the horoscopes of the possible couple, solely agreeing to a marriage if the pair's horoscopes were complementary. In addition as having appropriate horoscopes, the couple ought to return from a similar social category.

Asking for wedding presents was a feudal custom that placed a lot of strain on both families. Some couples had to break up because the girl's family demanded gifts beyond the grooms family's means. The brides family might request dresses, bottles of wine, cakes, betel nuts, rice, pigs, chickens, jewelry, and money. Sometimes, the groom's family would go deep into debt, forcing the young couple to spend years paying back the costs incurred by their wedding. Resentment between the bride and groom and their respective families was inevitable.

Asking for wedding presents was a feudal custom that placed lots of strain on each families. Some couples had to interrupt up as a result of the girl's family demanded gifts beyond the grooms family's suggests. The brides family would possibly request dresses, bottles of wine, cakes, betel nuts, rice, pigs, chickens, jewelry, and money. Sometimes, the groom's family would go deep into debt, forcing the young couple to pay through years with the prices incurred by their wedding. Resentment between the bride and groom and their individual families was avoidable.

A traditional marriage ceremony related to a good several gifts. Phu the cakes were necessary. Fabricated from rice flour, sugar, coconut and green beans, these cakes encompass a spherical filling between 2 sq. layers - said to represent the world and the sky. The cakes are related to loyalty, flexibility and honesty.

To raise pigs you want to collect ferns. To get married you want to be pay "way ahead" to the village

"Way ahead" was a sum of cash that the grooms family offered to the girl's home village. If the boy and the girl were natives of a similar village, the groom's family still had to pay "way ahead", though the total was smaller. solely once receiving the "way ahead" would the village officers issue a wedding certificate. The collected cash was to be used for public works, consists of sinking a well or building a road.

An hour or 2 before it was time to fetch the bride, the groom's uncle or aunt would attend the brides house to debate the proper time to choose up the bride. This custom allowed the families to unravel last-minute obstacles of poor weather or heavy traffic.

At the bride's home, the bride and groom worshiped at the ancestral altar, praying that the ancestors would assist their future and guarantee them a contented life. After that, the bride and groom offered a tray of betel nuts and cigarettes to the guests, starting with the eldest and most revered guests. Finally, the bride and groom kowtowed to the parents of brides. The parents of brides reciprocated with a tiny gift, normally earrings or some cash.

The mother-of-the-bride wasn't permitted to send her daughter off to the grooms house. It was thought of the fathers right to arrange the wedding. Often, the bride would cry as she worried regarding her future among strangers, whereas her mother would cry at the thought of losing her kid. In step with custom, the mother was forbidden from watching her daughters departure.

When arriving at the grooms house, alternative customs were observed. In the central provinces of Nghe An -Ha Tinh, the mother-in-law would welcome the bride by inserting a water scoop and an oversized brass pot filled with water beside the front gate. In the pot she would throw a couple of coins. The water symbolized her blessing for the bride, whereas the coins showed that the new daughter-in-law had access to personal capital.

After honoring the groom's ancestors, the mother-in-law took the bride into the wedding room. Here, a respected older man or woman with both a son and a daughter had stretched a new flowered sedge mat on the bed. This tradition was designed to make sure that the couple would have a son, a daughter and a happy future.

In ether elements of Vietnam, the mother-in-law wasn't allowed to satisfy the bride, however instead of taking a pot of lime and visiting a neighbors house. this custom showed that, whereas she was passing authority to her daughter-in-law, she retained the lime pot, symbolic of a woman's role in managing the housework.

In the past, most newlyweds were teenagers. It was common for girls of thirteen and boys of sixteen to marry. Bridesmaids would typically accompany the bride to the groom's house and pay a couple of days teaching the bride the way to become a wife and daughter-in-law. The bridesmaids generally departed 2 or four days, when the newlyweds performed a custom called lot mat, in which they came back to the bride's house to go to her parents and bring them some gifts. This tradition expressed the children's filial piety towards their parents.

Today, teenage in Vietnam are liberated to select their own partners. To outsiders, weddings might seem very Westernized, as most brides don white robes, whereas the grooms family hosts an oversized reception, typically in an exceedingly restaurant or hotel. Behind the scenes, however, several of the recent traditions persist. From the providing of betel nuts to the ceremonial laying down of the newlyweds' sedge mat, wedding rituals have retained their symbolic worth.

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